Month: November 2022

According to The Sunday Times, the results of a new poll commissioned by Dignity in Dying in the UK and published this month, found 72 per cent of Irish voters who have seen a terminally ill person experience pain or suffering support legalising voluntary assisted dying. The survey found that more than three in five people who support changing the law want reform in the next year.

Peter Boylan, the former master of the National Maternity Hospital, has said he also supports the campaign to legalise voluntary assisted dying in Ireland and that the assisted dying debate “needs to be had”. He said, “We all make life decisions and the decision to die is something that people who are in full control of their faculties and not influenced by other factors perhaps should be allowed to make.”

I didn’t take part in that poll, but if I did, I would have been part of the 72 per cent. I’m not good with pain and suffering. I can tolerate the usual flu-like symptoms; a fever, sweating, the shivers but I can’t even cope with a blocked nose.

I hate the thought of suffocating in my sleep, and I would rather prop myself up with a few pillows and read for the night, than close my eyes and succumb to the inevitable. I can’t even watch other people struggling for air and when I see someone trying to catch their breath, my breathing automatically increases.

My biggest fear is that I would acquire a disease that would asphyxiate me. If I’m ever in that situation, I would like to know that there was an alternative available. Something that would allow me to check out at my time of choosing. I’m not alone in this and there is growing support for the idea but, at the moment, euthanasia is still a crime in Ireland.

The right to die debate is emotive, especially in a predominately Catholic country like Ireland but talk of euthanasia, assisted suicide or mercy killing is a growing topic of conversation. Because we’re living longer, we’re experiencing more age-related illnesses.

Modern medicine and machinery can keep us going for longer now, sometimes even when our bodies have thrown in the towel. But many believe we should be able to call time on our own lives instead of being sustained artificially and I’m inclined to agree.

Spain’s parliament voted to legalise euthanasia and assisted suicide for people with serious and incurable or debilitating diseases who wish to end their life. This makes Spain the fourth country in the European Union to take that step along with the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg. Canada and some US states also allow it while Switzerland allows assisted suicide but not euthanasia.

The new law will apply to adults with legal residence in Spain but not everyone is happy. Some groups are determined to prevent it becoming law and will carry on the fight in court believing that despite the oversights, and the legal and medical requirements, euthanasia could be used for nefarious purposes. That’s a genuine fear but the strict protocols suggest that it is well regulated.

Opponents argue that it could put pressure on those requiring care to choose this option if they thought they were being a burden on those looking after them.

My sister-in-law, Carmel, died from Multiple System Atrophy (MSA). These symptoms are similar to Parkinson’s, and not unlike Motor Neuron Disease, and it does not respond to medication. It’s a horrible illness.

MSA is a progressive neurological disorder which causes problems related to movement, balance and other unconscious body functions such as bladder function, but deterioration is very individual. As the illness progresses, more help is needed with everyday activities and it’s very difficult to watch someone deteriorating from it. If I ever had to face that diagnosis, I would be looking carefully at my options.

Like many people, I have been in the unfortunate position of having to care for relatives dying from cancer including my parents and my sister. I say unfortunate but there are two aspects to the experience.

On the one hand, it is a privilege to play a part in preparing a loved one for the end of their life. In my mother’s case, she came to live with me for the last few months of her life and we were all able to spend time with her and give her the care she needed. I was delighted to have had that opportunity.

On the other hand, it’s extremely challenging. Without the support of family, friends and the medical professionals, caring for patients in their own home would be impossible. Even with all that help, the time often comes when a professional facility becomes a necessity. It’s a difficult time for all involved and very stressful.

In my situation, the specifics were different in each case in terms of the length of the illness, surgeries and other treatments etc, but the end result was the same. The time eventually came when medicine lost out to nature, and it simply became a waiting game.

They each reached a stage, where it was just a matter of trying to keep them as comfortable as possible for the time they had left. With no hope of recovery in sight, the focus changed to pain relief.

My mother was fortunate in that she didn’t suffer. Her GP ensured that her last few months were comfortable, and she remained alert which was what she wanted. As deaths go, it was probably as good as you can get, but not everyone dies easily. When there is no prospect of a recovery and pain, incapacity and death are inevitable, I think it would be comforting to know I had the option of ending it on my terms.

There was a time, and it’s not that long ago either, when you couldn’t go on a holiday without the help of a travel agent. It would have been unthinkable to attempt organising a trip on your own. It was too complicated and too risky, so it was best left to the professionals.

The first step was to find a reputable travel agent. Then get their brochure and see what deals were available and once you had decided on your destination, they would present you with an appropriate package.

They sorted your flights, accommodation, transfers to and from the airport and they usually had a representative on site in your chosen location as well just in case anything went wrong. All you had to do was go to the bank for your travellers’ cheques and you were ready for road. Or sky as the case may be.

Foreign travel was very mysterious in those days, but not anymore. Now most of us can book a hotel room or an apartment online, find suitable flights, check in online, download the boarding passes to our phones and that’s it, done and dusted. All sorted before getting up for breakfast.

Banking was another mystery back in the day. I can remember in Cobh as a young lad we had the Munster and Leinster Bank and later the Cork Savings Bank. Those were the days when you could go into a local bank and deal with a real human, but they were intimidating places full of important people doing stuff that ordinary mortals couldn’t possibly understand.

It might seem strange to younger readers to learn that in those days, banks actually encouraged customers to come through the doors. That ended when online banking got rid of the important people. There was no longer a need for tellers to pass money over the counter when a machine could do the same thing out on the street.

Like it or not, the Internet has changed many aspects of our daily life. Many businesses don’t want to meet real-life customers anymore. They’re too time consuming. They would prefer to keep us at a distance and deal with us online and that got me thinking about where this is going to end. You can pretty much arrange everything over the Internet now so what’s next?

Could we ever see the day when it would be possible to organise a funeral online for instance? I did some checking and guess what, that time has already arrived.

Funeralsonline.ie is advertised as a service that offers a completely new approach to funeral arranging in Ireland. They say they can provide you with a quality, cost-effective funeral, tailor-made to your requirements and carried out at your chosen location.

Their website guides you through a process that allows you to create the kind of service you would like. Once you have made your choices, you will be invited to select a username and password and you can save your arrangements and file them away for future reference.

So, you plan your funeral on the web site, save your choices and notify your solicitor or executor and FuneralsOnline.ie will keep a record of your arrangements indefinitely, or until you require the service. It seems straightforward enough but nothing in life, or death, is simple and end of life issues are no different.

Traditional burials in cemeteries and graveyards have been overtaken by cremations and that’s getting expensive. According to The Sunday Times, rising energy bills have created cost-of-dying crisis for Belgian crematoria. The manager of a crematorium in Liège said energy bills for its ovens had quadrupled over the past year from €9,000 in 2021 to €36,000 in early 2022. The worldwide rise in energy costs since then have surely impacted funeral and cremation services further and Belgium faces a crisis.

There is however, a more energy friendly alternative system that seems to be growing in popularity called aguamation or resomation. Funeral directors say it offers a more environmentally friendly option for burials. The process breaks down the body using a solution of hot water and alkaline chemicals in a large chamber where temperatures reach 160C.

Scotland looks set to become the first UK nation to approve “water cremations.” It’s already available in a number of American and Canadian states as well as in parts of Australia, Mexico, South Africa and the Netherlands and the Scottish government has confirmed it is considering new regulations that would allow for the introduction of resomations.

The Dutch have a more immediate problem though. The Times UK reported previously that an increase in the size and weight of Dutch people is forcing the country’s funeral industry to introduce bigger coffins, more pallbearers, wider crematoria ovens and longer cremation times. It appears overweight or obese people take 15 miniutes longer to cremate.

A study by the NRC Handelsblad newspaper found that the Dutch funeral is changing as people in the Netherlands get fatter. Official health statistics show that half of Dutch people are overweight, with 35 per cent moderately chubby and about 15 per cent classed as obese.

In recent years most coffin makers have increased the size of caskets to, as one manufacturer put it, match “the average stature of the contemporary Dutchman”. Van Wijk funeral caskets, in the undertaking business since 1925, have added an inch to the width of their coffins “due to increasing demand”.

The bigger coffins and larger corpses are increasing the weight with implications for funeral corteges with the number of pallbearers rising from the traditional six to eight more frequently.

That’s one problem that can’t be solved online. To prepare for burial, we need to get out and exercise. So, it would seem we need to be fit to live and fit to die. Time for the gym.

Bullying in the workplace is a hot topic these days. It’s not something I’m very familiar with but I did come up against some difficult characters in my working life. When I started out in An Garda Siochana, it wasn’t unusual to encounter a cranky supervisor who liked the sound of his own voice.

They liked to be heard even though they would have been better off remaining silent because they were generally incompetent and exposed themselves even further every time they opened their mouths. They weren’t called bullies because bullying wasn’t really recognised back then. They did have lots of other names though, most of which wouldn’t be suitable for print.

Coming from a self-employed background, I was used to working on my own, so when I went to Templemore, it took me some time to get used to being told what to and when to do it. It worked out fine in the end and the vast majority of people I dealt with in the Force were decent but there were others who couldn’t survive in today’s environment.

Those characters would be in serious trouble by modern standards but in those days, over enthusiastic supervision was mostly seen as par for the course. It was accepted and we got on with it.

I did experience it in the seventies when I had a temporary job as a teenager, working for the local authority. The boss and I had a few disagreements during my short tenure. He was an excitable man and tended to shout a lot while going red in the face.

He would have been a serious hazard during the pandemic if he was still alive. A sturdy face mask would have been essential to protect those around him from spittle. He sprayed a lot when we were together because he didn’t have much time for me. Come to think of it, he didn’t have much time for anyone.

Things came to a head one day and I had had enough. I handed him a hammer and suggested he insert it in a particular part of his anatomy. He didn’t appreciate that and performed a jig in the middle of the street while having a rant. Not surprisingly, I was fired.

I thought those days were long gone but I was talking to a friend of mine recently, and I was amazed to hear she has been suffering at the hands of a bully in her workplace for some time. I have known her for the bones of thirty years and during that time I have never heard anybody being anything but complimentary about her.

I’ve always found her to be a very capable and efficient individual with a constant smile on her face. She is also very easy to get along with, so I was surprised to hear that she was almost driven to the point of throwing in the towel because of this other character.

Apparently, bullying in the workplace is a common problem. The actual extent of it is difficult to measure because many adults feel that to admit being bullied at work could be seen as a sign of weakness. But it is estimated that as many as one in three employees could be affected.

According to the Anti-Bullying Centre at Dublin City University (DCU), which was established to carry out research into the subject, the effects of workplace bullying on individuals are widespread and include stress, anxiety, depression, substance abuse and even suicide.

Many victims prefer to just accept it and struggle on in the hope that the bully will move on, or it will somehow just fizzle out. While they may discuss their circumstances with family and friends, few are prepared to make a complaint or admit openly that they are being bullied because of the fear that people may think less of them.

The Health and Safety Authority gives examples of behaviour that may constitute bullying such as purposely undermining someone, targeting someone for special negative treatment, manipulation of an individual’s reputation, social exclusion or isolation, intimidation, aggressive or obscene language.

Jokes that are obviously offensive to one individual by spoken word or email, intrusion by pestering, spying and stalking, unreasonable assignments to duties which are obviously unfavourable to one individual, repeated requests with impossible deadlines or impossible tasks. That covers a multitude.

In short, there are lots of ways for a bully to intimidate or upset someone but the fact that the subject is being discussed more openly now is a good thing for those who might be suffering. Bullying can often be subtle and difficult to detect.

The traditional bullies are easy to spot. They like to shout at people, convinced that the louder they shout, the more important they become. They spit when agitated and the more animated, they become, the wetter you get. These people are generally incompetent and try to mask their own lack of ability by deflecting attention onto others.

Cyberbullying is a more recent phenomenon and is probably more sinister. It can be done remotely and anonymously through mobile phones, computers and social media sites and text messages etc. It can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and can affect anyone but at least it’s being spoken about and there is plenty of advice on how to deal with it.

I’ve always thought that the best way to deal with bullies is to confront them. This is easier said than done and for many it’s possibly a step too far but it’s important to speak out and let them know you won’t take it. If that’s not possible, talk to someone else. Don’t suffer in silence. Most organisations have a bullying policy to advise you on what steps to take and who to talk to.

If you’re someone who likes to wear a traditional wristwatch, then I have some bad news. I read recently that while regular watches are still very popular, smartwatches are beginning to eat into the sales of traditional watches as they become more advanced and feature rich. Sales of smartwatches are on the rise, while traditional watch sales are on the decline.

This isn’t good for traditionalists like me but, because smartwatches offer a host of features that ordinary watches can’t match, they’re more attractive to a younger cohort. Smartwatches can track your fitness activity, monitor your heart rate, and even act as a mobile payment device which appeals to some people.

My local jeweller told me that watch repairing is a dying trade. There is no demand for these skills anymore because young people use their phones and have no interest in watches. Those who do like to wear a watch, just throw it away when it breaks and replace it with a new one. Maybe I’m just being old fashioned, but I think that’s sad.

When I was about five years old, I spent some time in the Mercy University Hospital in Cork after surgery for what was effectively a duodenal ulcer. I remember very little of that time but what I can recall is very vivid.

I can remember going to the window to watch my mother heading for the train home after her visits, but I don’t recall being upset or lonely and as far as I know, I was in there for a few weeks. Maybe that early training is the reason I enjoy being on my own so much.

Anyway, my other outstanding memory of that time, is of my mother giving me a present of a watch shortly before I left the hospital. Not sure why she did that, maybe it was just to give me a boost. I can’t imagine being very concerned about timekeeping at that age, but I did get a kick out of it. Ever since then I have always thought a watch was a nice present to give and to receive.

I was given another one as a present about fifteen years ago by my wife and kids. It was a Dalton piece, not the most expensive watch in the world by any means, but I liked it. Over the years, bits and pieces have gone wrong with it but because of its sentimental value I’ve always had it repaired. At this stage, there is probably very little of the original watch left. It’s a bit like Trigger’s broom.

I cracked the screen a few times and had new ones fitted. Then one of the hands fell off, so I got that fixed. When I worked in Cyprus, I stupidly left it on whenever I went swimming because it was waterproof, but I think that just meant it would survive a shower of rain. It wasn’t designed to be worn by someone who thought he was Michael Phelps. The entire mechanism threw in the towel after that and had to be replaced.

Not long after that, my children bought me a Garmin watch for Christmas, and I enjoyed the novelty of that for a while. It tracked my steps and kept me on the move, alerted me to incoming phone-calls, text messages and emails and was a fun piece.

After a few years though it started to annoy me. I found it intrusive, so I decided to give it a break and I went back to my Dalton. It was a dead duck by then after hibernating in the drawer and needed a new battery, but it still didn’t work when that was replaced. They broke the news gently to me that the innards had corroded and needed to be replaced again. So, off it went once more, back to the repair guy.

It was returned a couple of weeks later and I was delighted with myself until the clasp on the bracelet became difficult to open and close. Eventually, it just refused to close and hung loosely on my wrist so back I went to the jewellers. I innocently thought that would be a five miniute job, but I should have realised by now that nothing associated with this time piece is straightforward.

Apparently, the strap was designed to be integrated with the watch and as the manufacturer had gone out of business, I was told it may not be possible to get a new one. They tried their best to fix it, but it defied them and as we speak it has been sent back to Daltons. Even though they’ve gone out of business, it seems they might be able to do something with it.

By now, I have spent more money on keeping this watch alive than it cost originally but I don’t mind. I like it so I’m prepared to suffer for the cause but I’m running out of options. The watch repair guy has retired.

One option is to go for the more durable Victorinox Swiss Army watch. The manufacturer has tested it by running an army tank over it, boiling it, freezing it, washing it in a machine on a 90 degree cycle and throwing the kitchen sink at it and it survived.

Or there is also the Hallucination, a Graff Diamonds creation. The Hallucination was the world’s most expensive watch when it was unveiled in 2014 and came with a price tag of 55 million dollars.

It’s the culmination of thousands of hours of work from a team of designers, gemologists, and expert craftsmen with a kaleidoscopic array of 110 carats of different coloured diamonds in a range of different cuts, set into a platinum bracelet.

Sounds cute, but how long it would last under a tank?

Thirty years ago, during my policing days, I often travelled to Mosney for the national finals of the Community Games just to lend a hand. My role mas mainly that of delivery man, bringing the kit, food and supplies for the Cork contingent to the Co. Meath venue in the garda community relations minibus.

The late Mary Connolly, her husband Ray and son Derek were actively involved in the community games in those days and were also involved in pretty much everything else that was happening in the Mayfield area, and we became good friends. Mary had a great way of getting what she wanted and after having tea with her one day, I left the house scratching my head and wondering how I had been talked into heading to Meath with a fully laden van.

Anyway, during one of those weekends, the finals of the tennis were due to take place, but they had no umpire. Knowing that tennis was my pastime, they nominated me to step in. I don’t recall any discussion taking place, it was more of an instruction.

I took my place courtside on the highchair while the kids were warming up and it’s worth remembering that they were just children. The match started, and we weren’t long into it when some of the parents started getting over excited. At one stage I lost track of the score, but I wasn’t concerned because at that age, kids are well able to keep track themselves and are usually very honest. The mistake I made was verbalising the fact I didn’t know the score by asking the kids.

Some of the parents seemed to take this as a personal insult. They moaned and groaned and a few hurled insults at me. They were attempting to outdo each other in the cheerleader stakes and seemed to lose sight of the fact that it was a game, and these youngsters were supposed to be enjoying themselves and having fun. I sat there for a couple of hours before deciding there and then that officiating wasn’t for me.  

That pales into insignificance when compared to the behaviour of the modern-day parent. There was a report in the Irish Examiner recently about a child being assaulted during a hurling match. The child was under nine years of age and was participating in a hurling blitz when it is reported he had been hurt after a nonplaying individual entered the playing area and allegedly grabbed the child by the throat.

The gardai were contacted after the incident and the Munster Council is investigating the alleged assault which follows a series of flashpoints at club games in recent months. Former GAA president Sean Kelly MEP said the GAA “needs to get a grip” on the problem of abuse through stiffer penalties, to show it is not acceptable for adults to behave this way.

Mr Kelly also called for each club to establish its own code of conduct and make it known to players, officials, and parents that it is “not acceptable to abuse referees or players.” I completely agree with his comments but unfortunately these calls for action are regularly made but continue to fall on deaf ears.

Roscommon GAA is investigating an incident involving an altercation with a referee during a minor championship match. The referee, who was officiating at the underage game, required medical attention after he was allegedly assaulted during the second half of the game. An ambulance was called, and the match was subsequently abandoned.

In other incidents, a referee and an umpire were subjected to violent behaviour following a junior A group game in Wexford town recently and there was another incident in an U17 game later the same day. The referee is regarded as one of the most experienced in Wexford and was allegedly attacked at the end of the game. He was hospitalised in the wake of the incident and released the following day after suffering from concussion.

This problem isn’t just limited to the GAA. Earlier this year, the Dublin Branch of the Irish Soccer Referees Society condemned an assault on a referee in his sixties and announced they had withdrawn their services to a particular club after an incident involving one of their officials. 

They said the referee, was chased onto the field of play and assaulted. The official was refereeing the game alone, and the Referees Society said the incident could have been worse had it not been for the intervention of members of the opposing team. 

There was another incident during a match in the west of Ireland involving an adult non-player and an under-17 player. This led to one of the clubs being removed from the competition and fined €1000 but the club was later reinstated, and the fine was reduced to €250 while one of the players had his ban reduced from 96 weeks to just two.

That doesn’t send out a very positive message about the intent to tackle bad behaviour and we’re not going to see an improvement until incidents like these are taken seriously. There seems to be a culture in many sports that all’s fair in love and war. It’s only high jinks. Heat of the moment kind of stuff, nothing to see here, move along.

It’s contagious. Footballers have been disrespecting soccer officials for many years and it’s getting worse. Premiership football managers, and their support staff, are also getting in on the act with unruly behaviour in the technical areas and being sent to the tunnel is almost seen as a badge of honour. But that’s not the example they should be setting.

Competitive spirit and a desire to win are necessary in sport but violence and abuse is not acceptable in any sporting occasion, particularly when children are involved.