Trevor Laffan

Some time ago, maybe seven or eight weeks, I’m not sure exactly, I developed what I would call a ‘flu’. Doctors will tell you that we rarely get the ‘flu’ here but we do get heavy colds and the occasional virus but they consider the ‘flu’ to be a different animal altogether. But whatever it was that I had, it involved lots of shivering, sweating, coughing and a blocked nose. This stuffed nose business was a little different from what I was used to because I seemed to be blocked up at the back of my nose for a long time and it took a few weeks before I was able to breathe properly again.

Soon after that, it seemed to me that everything that I ate tasted bland and I couldn’t get a flavour from anything. When I was cooking I had to ask someone else to taste the food for me to see if it was ok and it slowly dawned on me that I had lost my sense of taste and my sense of smell. My sense of smell is gone completely and I suspect that about 95% of my ability to taste is gone. I think I can taste the odd thing but then I’m not sure if I’m actually tasting it or whether my brain is just telling me what it tastes like from memory. In any event, at the moment, they’re both pretty much redundant.

So I did what every self- respecting sick person does when they have an ailment, I contacted Doctor Google and typed in my symptoms. While doing this, I’m pretty sure that I have some rare form of cancer that only affects one in every forty million people but I just happen to be that person. Or else my brain has become loose and this is likely to result in my imminent departure to the afterlife. It’s bound to be serious.

One website advised me that I could be suffering from Anosmia which is a medical term for the loss of the sense of smell. And this could be caused by certain medication, recreational drug use such as cocaine or amphetamines, diabetes, long-term alcohol misuse, an underactive thyroid, a head injury, a brain tumour, epilepsy, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, liver or kidney disease or schizophrenia. That about covers everything but in around 20% of cases, the cause can’t be found. So I was no wiser after this.

Then I checked out another website and, to my surprise, I came across an explanation that turned out to be a little less dramatic and a bit more comforting than the previous one. One of the first things that jumped out at me was the fact that it is quite common for some people to lose their sense of smell and taste after a virus or a dose of the ‘flu’.

One woman gave an account of her experience and how it started with a bad head cold three years ago. Her sense of smell and taste deserted her. For the first few days she accepted it and put it down to the blocked nose. When it dragged on for a fortnight, long after her cold had disappeared, she sought help. When the nasal sprays and antibiotics didn’t work, her specialist confirmed what she already feared, that it was an upper respiratory infection that had attacked her olfactory nerves. Food tasted like cardboard and roses could have been artificial. She could still determine bitter, sweet, salt and sour, but they were empty without the accompanying flavours and scents. It became a near obsession and she used to cry when she could smell nothing.

Then, a few months ago, she went for a run and afterwards when she got in the car to go home she caught a smell of something instantly recognisable. It was dog poo. She checked her trainers and, sure enough, she had stepped in some. Instead of feeling disgusted like most people would, she had a rush of joy because she was able to smell it. She didn’t clean it off for days and would return to the trainer regularly to check that she could still smell it. Her sense of smell and taste is now 75% recovered and hopefully she can now smell things other than dog poo.

Now, I’m not sure if this is a permanent condition with me or not, I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see. If it is then I would like to thank those senses for the service that they have given me up to now. It is appreciated and I harbour no hard feelings and I only wish them all the best. If they do come back then I won’t have to step in dog poo to realise it because I have another detector that is every bit as effective.

My grandson, Cooper, has an ability to fill a nappy that, at times, could be used as a weapon of offence. There are occasions when these things could be classified as hazardous material. They can bring tears to your eyes faster than any onion. Cooper spends a lot of time sitting on my lap watching Fireman Sam and the only way I know that he has made a deposit in his nappy is when I see the family gathering around me with breathing apparatus and industrial gloves. I only hope and pray, at those times, that it’s Cooper that has the issue and not me and thankfully it would appear that I have not reached that stage yet.

Hopefully these senses will return at some point but if they don’t well then, we’ll just have to get on with it. It might suit me though if it doesn’t happen until Cooper is out of nappies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s that time of year again when we have to put on our lumberjack gear and head into the woods to cut down a tree so we can bring it home and stand it in a bucket and put it in the corner of a room. There is a bit of huffing and puffing involved in trying to get the tree through the front door, some scraping of knuckles on the door frame and some cursing when it won’t stand up properly in the bucket. Then there is some trimming involved to stop it from making a hole in the ceiling and to ensure that the family can actually fit into the same room with it.

Then we put lots of small lights on it and hang funny looking ornaments from the branches and we sit back and wait for a large fat man to come down the chimney and leave presents for us all underneath it. Just to put the tin hat on it we leave some milk and biscuits out for the fat man in case he’s hungry.

If you were to look at this logically, you would probably determine that this behaviour is a little bit odd and who could blame you. Try bringing a tree home to your beloved at any other time of the year and telling her that it would look lovely in the sitting room beside the telly and you would probably hear phrases you didn’t think she even knew.

The Paradise Tree

But it is perfectly acceptable at Christmas time and to find out how this came about we have to go back in time a bit. The exact origin of the Christmas tree in unclear but the most likely theory is that it started with medieval plays. Dramas depicting biblical themes began as part of the religious worship and they took place in the outdoors and the Garden of Eden was represented by a “Paradise tree”. The plays were banned in many places when revelers started becoming too drunk and boisterous. By that time some people had taken a liking to the idea of the “paradise tree” so they began to set them up in their homes to compensate for the public celebration they could no longer enjoy outside.

The “Paradise tree” was hung with fruit. Wooden “pyramids” lined with shelves would be placed next to the tree and candles would be placed on the shelves, one for each member of the family. It is quite probable that these candles ended up on the tree itself and then went on to become our present day Christmas tree lights and ornaments.

There is another theory about the introduction of the Christmas tree and it concerns an event that occurred on a cold Christmas Eve night. A forester and his family were in their cottage and were gathered round the fire to keep warm when there was a knock on the door. When the forester opened the door, he found a poor little boy standing on the door step, lost and alone. The forester welcomed him into his house and the family fed and washed him and put him to bed. The next morning, Christmas morning, the family was woken up by a choir of angels, and the little boy had turned into Jesus.

Jesus went into the front garden of the cottage and broke a branch off a Fir tree and gave it to the family as a present to say thank you. I’m not sure how he thought that this was going to impress the family but he obviously believed in “It’s the thought that counts” motto. In any event, it is said that people have remembered that event by bringing a Christmas tree into their homes.

Wassailing

Wassailing is another tradition that was popular at the time. It’s often described in innocuous and sometimes nostalgic terms and it is still practiced in some parts of Scotland and Northern England on New Year’s Day. It’s also known as “first footing“. Wassailing was associated with rowdy groups of young lads who would call to the homes of wealthy neighbours and demand free food and drink. If the householder refused, he was usually cursed, and occasionally his house would be vandalised.

I can remember being in Edinburgh in Scotland one Christmas and an elderly neighbour of the brother-in-law that I was staying with insisted that I had to call to see her and I had to bring a lump of coal with me. In return she would give me a glass of whiskey which seemed like a pretty good deal to me. It had to do with this “First foot” tradition which was supposed to bring good luck to a householder if a stranger called to the house with a knob of coal. So that tradition is still surviving in some parts.

Bah humbug

The exact origin of these customs is open to interpretation but the fact remains that someone came up with the notion that bringing a tree indoors and decorating it would be good fun. Obviously drink had to be involved in that decision and it seems that they could do very little in those days when they were sober. There was lots of drunkenness and fighting and it was common to abuse your neighbours if they didn’t give you food or drink. This crowd just couldn’t behave themselves and it’s because of them that we have to turn our sitting rooms into gardens at Christmas time. It’s thanks to them that I have to risk my life going up to the attic every year to rescue a few thousand Christmas tree lights that will invariably be tangled up and broken. If they had stayed off the drink and copped themselves on a bit then my life would be less stressful. Bah humbug.

I was watching television with my daughter a few nights ago. I can’t remember the name of the programme we were looking at but it was one of those period dramas, set in the 1940’s or thereabouts. At one point in the story a guy went and sat at the edge of the bed and took off his watch to wind it. I remarked how I hadn’t seen anyone doing that for a long time, winding a watch. My daughter looked at me strangely and asked me why anybody would have to do that. It never occurred to me that she has only ever known battery operated watches.

So I started thinking about what else she didn’t know about and what life will be like for her two year old son in thirty years’ time. How much will change by the time he reaches adulthood and when he looks back on his life with us, will he consider 2016 to be a primitive time in his existence? For that to happen there will have to be a lot of major changes over the next few years but, for me, it’s difficult to see how things can improve that drastically. It seems to me that we have it pretty good as it is.

I can remember my parents telling me about their childhood and how little they had. They had no electricity when they were young, or phones, or cars or sometimes even shoes. Clothes were passed down the line from the oldest child to the next and sizes didn’t matter. Food was basic and by no means plentiful. A coal fire heated the room that the fire was in but the rest of the house was cold. And that was in the good times when coal was available. Cars were few and far between, roads were poor and there was no street lighting.

My childhood was spent in the lap of luxury compared to what they had to put up with. I can remember the introduction of the television and staring in amazement at the test card. For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, the test card was an image that was displayed on the screen when there were no programmes on. I think it was designed to give the technicians something to look at when they were trying to tune in the telly.

I can remember the excitement when a terrace got street lighting. I can remember getting the phone for the first time and the luxury of central heating when it was first installed. So while I have seen huge advancements in my time, I had imagined that we had gone as far as we could and that this was pretty much as good as it was going to get. But then I began to wonder if there are more changes in store for us. Will my grandson look back in thirty years’ time and recall that my house was caught in a time warp? Will he think that I lived in a cave and will he wonder how he managed to survive in such primitive conditions?

Already, at two years of age, he will ask me to get my electronic tablet. He will then park himself on my lap and choose the programmes that he wants to watch. I just have to start up the thing and then he takes over. Some mornings he climbs into my bed and asks me for my phone and he watches his cartoons on it. It’s second nature to him at this stage. He has his own iPad and he is well able to navigate his way around it to find games for himself.

He has an endless supply of clothes that fit, he is used to having heat in every room in the house and there is no shortage of food or drink for him. He has his entertainment at the push of a button and he has a variety of toys. So how much better can it get for him?

There are some who would say that life will change more in the next 20 years than it has done in all of human history so far. By 2030 we could have goods delivered to us by drones and we could be using 3D printers to produce our meals. We could be driving hovercraft type machines instead of cars and we might all have robots at home doing the cooking and the cleaning. There could be a microchip implanted in our wrists to monitor our vital signs and give us advice on what treatment to use when we fall ill.

It looks as if more of us are going to live longer and the population of aged people is expected to go through the roof by 2050. As people live longer, they will get more age-related diseases like dementia, cancer and diabetes. On the other hand, thankfully, medicine will also advance by 2050 so there should be more cures.

However there is more bad news ahead. We are continuing to damage our planet with climate engineering, which could result in the extinction of humanity. There are those who predict that the luminosity of the sun will steadily increase and the long-term trend is for plant life to die off altogether. The extinction of plants will be the end of almost all animal life, since plants are the base of the food chain on Earth. The increase in the Earth’s surface temperature will cause the surface to heat enough to melt. By that point, all life on the Earth will be extinct.

So don’t worry what the world is going to look like in a few years’ time because the future is grim. The planet is set to melt…. in about four billion years.

Travelling can either be torturous or a very pleasant experience depending on your mind-set at the time. Some people see the travelling as part of the holiday experience and they take no notice of flight delays, waiting in airports, security checks etc. Others grind their teeth and mumble away to themselves until they reach their destination, cursing their decision to leave their home in the first place.

There are many factors that can determine how pleasant or otherwise the journey is likely to be. Things like your travelling companion, your fellow passengers, mode of transport and the purpose of the trip. The chances are that you will be much more tolerant if you are heading off on a holiday than you will be if you are going to some event that you have little or no interest in.

I recently travelled back home from a visit to Cyprus with a friend of mine, John O’Connor. We have made this trip previously without too much inconvenience or hardship but this time was a little different. While we were waiting in the departure lounge in Larnaca, there was a guy using his mobile phone and it sounded like he was talking to his wife. He was using face time so he had the phone out in front of him and he was staring intently at the screen. He was shouting into the phone for half an hour, oblivious to the fact that everyone could hear the entire conversation. Normally that drives me nuts but this guy was so bad that everybody was just laughing at him.

We were due to leave Larnaka at about 8pm on an Easyjet flight and we were expected to arrive in Gatwick at about 1am. There was a delay of about an hour that pushed our predicted arrival time back to 2am. Not a great start but we just got on with it.

We got to our seats and there were people already sitting in them so that had to be resolved. Then there were three people seated behind us and I suspect that a certain amount of alcohol had been consumed by them. One of them was a female with a very loud voice and an even louder laugh. She also had a lot of stamina because she never stopped yapping. That is the kind of thing that can make your journey longer and more uncomfortable than it needs to be and in this case if it had been possible to open a window I would happily have sent her on her way.

When we arrived at Gatwick Airport the plane seemed to land very heavily and suddenly the landing was aborted and we found ourselves back up amongst the clouds again. While I am not normally a nervous passenger I must admit that I was a little unnerved at this turn of events. The atmosphere on the aircraft changed after that and you could feel the tension in the air. Arm rests were being gripped a bit tighter. I’m not sure how long we were circling around before we made a second attempt at landing and this time, while again it seemed like a heavy contact with the runway, we stayed on the ground.

Our next leg of the journey was with Ryanair from Gatwick to Cork which was scheduled to leave at 12.15pm the following day. The queueing in Gatwick at the gate for the Ryanair flight was a little chaotic and there was confusion among the passengers heading for Istanbul, Malaga and Cork as to who was to queue where. When we eventually reached the departure gate it was obvious that this particular flight had very little chance of leaving on time. We also realised that all hand luggage that had wheels was being tagged to go in the hold which didn’t make a lot of sense to us.

The whole advantage of travelling with hand luggage only is that you get to avoid the business of going to the carousel and waiting there to collect bags. This saves a lot of time if you can manage with hand luggage only. There was no explanation offered for this decision and we were sent on our merry way to take our seats on the plane. At 12.45pm it looked as if we were about to take off but we were in for another little surprise.

We sat on the plane for a further 80 miniutes while the cabin crew scurried up and down the aisle doing lots of counting and pointing. It’s no exaggeration to say that we must have been counted at least a dozen times but nobody thought it was worth their while to advise us as to why we were sitting there like sheep being counted by a demented shepherd. From what we could gather they either had one passenger too many or they had lost one but in any event the paperwork and the number of passengers on board the aircraft were not tallying to the satisfaction of the counters. You would imagine that if you know the amount of seats on a plane, then by simply deducting the number of empty seats from the total should give you the number of passengers on the aircraft. But maybe that’s too simple.

It wasn’t the end of the world, but you don’t really want to be sitting on an aeroplane for any longer than you have to. Space in modern aircraft is at a premium and the seating doesn’t allow for much room. The seats, particularly in the low budget airlines, are not designed to be as comfortable as your recliner at home, so if you sit in them for long enough your bum goes numb. And then they tell you to have a nice flight, who are they kidding?

 

 

 

Around 500 people with cystic fibrosis have been told that, while there is a drug available to help them with their disease, it’s too expensive to give it to them. The drug Orkambi would cost around €160,000 per patient and according to the Government, it’s too expensive at this price.

Sufferers who have been taking the drug for three years as part of a trial have said that there is no doubt that the drug is life saving for some people, and without it they may not be here.

Vertex, the company that produces the drug, is a global biotechnology company. According to its website, it aims to discover, develop and commercialize innovative medicines so people with serious diseases can lead better lives. Founded in 1989 in Cambridge, Mass. and headquartered in Boston’s Innovation District, Vertex today has research and development sites and commercial offices in the United States, Europe, Canada and Australia.

In addition to their clinical development programs focused on cystic fibrosis, Vertex has more than a dozen ongoing research programs aimed at other serious and life-threatening diseases.

They collaborate with some of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies, leading non-profit disease foundations and many of the world’s best-known academic institutions.

In 2014 they had total revenues of $580 million, including net product revenues of $464 million for KALYDECO in cystic fibrosis, cash equivalents and marketable securities of approximately $1.4 billion as of December 31, 2014.

Their work with not-for-profit foundations and their desire to create life- saving medicine is admirable but it’s not worth a crap if the people that need it can’t afford it. Vertex is in business to make money and that’s fair enough. But does it really cost €160,000 per patient per year to produce this stuff?

 

It’s a fact of life that you have to be very careful what you say these days and how you say it. The Political Correctness police are everywhere and they will bring the sky down upon you if you make a slip up. Political correctness is described as the avoidance of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against. That’s a fine mouthful but what does it mean?

Not so long ago, the use of certain terminology to describe some sections of the community was often offensive and particularly so for black people, gays and lesbians, people with physical or mental disabilities and others. They had a lot to put up with and for them, political correctness was, I would imagine, very welcome. The original intention was probably to achieve exactly that and to make life more comfortable for people generally.

We have gone overboard with political correctness

But somewhere along the way we have gone overboard with this PC business. It has become impossible to have a conversation with some who insist on correcting everything you say. If you mention male, they will interrupt and tell you to mention female. If you say he, then you must say she. If you mention him then you must mention her. I have attended meetings with people like this and it would drive you to distraction.

Policemen are now police officers and firemen are firefighters, chairmen have left the building and are now chairs. But be careful because you can still use chairperson and I think chairwoman is ok. As for humankind you better replace that with personkind. Gone is the man on the street and he, or she, has been replaced by the person on the street and you can tell your kids all about the person on the moon.

This is probably not something that exercises the minds of the average Joe, or Josephine, Soap too much and I’m pretty sure that as long as you are not insensitive in other ways, few people will be offended if you restrain yourself from putting ‘she’ after every ‘he’.

No offence but……

Pandering to every plea for politically correct terminology can make conversation impossible and can make the written word unreadable. There is a need to be balanced here and deal with the genuine issues and avoid taking offence at every opportunity, especially where none was intended. We have to maintain a sense of humour at the same time.

Some people believe that avoiding the possibility of giving offence, causing embarrassment, lowering self-esteem, reinforcing stereotypes, perpetuating prejudice, victimising, marginalising or discriminating is more important than telling the actual story. But if you take that to extremes then you probably wouldn’t open your mouth.

There are some examples of how a story can be altered for the sake of political correctness and, while some of them have been denied, they nevertheless give examples of how things can get a little PC mad from time to time.

A load of nonsense

There was a story about Punch & Judy shows that featured at the British seaside for centuries. In fact, its history stretches back to the diarist Samuel Pepys, who wrote about seeing a show in Covent Garden over 350 years ago. That hasn’t stopped Barry Town Council from banning the show from a festival because of its “inappropriate hitting” – and because it depicts an “abusive” relationship. (Credit: WikiCommons)

Tunbridge Wells Borough Council in Kent allegedly banned the term “brainstorming” and replaced it with “thought showers” – for fear of offending epileptics.

An unknown school in England banned a Wonder Woman lunchbox for being “too violent”, according to a viral image posted online by a mother and a school in the US supposedly renamed its Easter eggs ‘spring spheres’ to avoid causing offence to people who did not celebrate Easter.

These stories may be completely ridiculous and may not even be true but they are entertaining. On a more serious note though, it is becoming more difficult for some people to express themselves honestly for fear of upsetting the PC applecart and using the wrong terminology without having the slightest intention of causing offence to anyone. Speaking in public is fraught with danger and it’s not always easy to navigate a safe passage through the mine field, especially when there are certain people ready to jump down your throat at the first opportunity.

A sense of humour is required

Jeremy Clarkson, of Top Gear fame, is probably one of those people you would not associate with being politically correct and he has found himself in hot water again recently because of remarks he made in relation to the Ebola virus. He described a particular racetrack as being dangerous because there is an unexploded bomb underneath it. He then went on to describe how it even looked dangerous on a map because, according to him, the shape of it resembled the Ebola virus.

If people are going to jump up and down about this we might as well throw our hat at it. The likes of Clarkson and Billy Connolly, the Scottish comedian, would never see the light of day if these PC sensitive beings are to have their way. We need humour and to be able to laugh at ourselves and some humour can be found in the darkest of situations so let’s lighten up a small bit.

That we as a society should be considerate and that we should think before we speak and avoid the use of inflammatory stereotypes goes without saying. Political correctness is basically just being a thoughtful, curious, compassionate human being, sorry, person being. It shouldn’t be about trying to catch people out for being stupid (no offence intended to people who are stupid). Political correctness is about real life and that includes having a sense of humour as well.

 

 

I was asked recently if I thought that juvenile crime was on the increase. Were there more youngsters running wild and creating havoc now than there were in the past? It’s an interesting question. While I don’t have the figures from the Department of Justice, I would be surprised if there wasn’t some increase in incidents given the resource issue that has affected An Garda Siochana over the last number of years.

I think that the majority of young people we have in this country are good kids who progress to adulthood without causing too many problems. Many of them distinguish themselves through sport, volunteerism or academic achievements without causing an ounce of bother. In my experience it has always been a small minority who cause trouble and bring themselves to the notice of the Justice system. I don’t know if this group has grown but I suspect that the lack of resources in An Garda Siochana has led to less interaction with youngsters over the last few years and as a result they could be more boisterous than would have been the case previously.

Do the figures add up?

Figures from the Court Service’s Annual Report suggest that juvenile crimes and public order offences have greatly reduced over the last number of years. In 2013, there were 5,365 juvenile offences, representing a 41% drop on 2010’s figure of 9,162. Public order and assault offences are also on the way down with 40,823 such offences recorded last year, in comparison to 61,652 such offences back in 2011, a 34% drop.

This seems to be at variance with the perception of some members of the general public who feel that those numbers don’t stack up. And they may well be justified in having that opinion.

The Minister for Justice has stated that since the first National Youth Justice Strategy commenced in 2008, the number of children detained by the Courts annually on criminal conviction has consistently dropped; the operational costs of detention have reduced by over 30%; the capital costs and space required in the new national detention facilities being built at Oberstown are approximately 50% of what was estimated in 2008; and youth crime has decreased.

Is there another reason?

It is possible that the reduction in the number of recorded juvenile offences could be attributed to the fact that a shortage of resources in An Garda Siochana may have resulted in fewer juveniles coming to the attention of the gardai in the first place. Another reason could be a claim that fewer incidents are reported because of the anticipated lack of response.

Commenting on the Court Service’s Annual Report a Garda spokesman said, “Preventative and enforcement” measures have been implemented by the force to reduce the number of incidents relating to such crimes. “On the prevention side, this includes our youth diversion programme that seeks to stop young people under 18 from re-offending, our schools education programme, and working with communities on programmes like Neighbourhood Watch and Community Alert,” the spokesman said.

I’m not convinced about the “preventative and enforcement” measures and if these measures are being hailed as the reason for the reduction in offences then I’m afraid that the report is flawed. These are the very same measures that have taken a terrible hammering in recent years in An Garda Siochana because of the unavailability of community gardai and because of the new roster. This is the same roster that the Garda Inspectorate decided is not fit for purpose. It is causing huge problems for garda management who still refuse to admit that it doesn’t work.

The schools programme was never easy

It’s infuriating that they continue to suggest that their “schools education programme and community programmes like Neighbourhood Watch and Community Alert” are actually working. To suggest the offences are reduced because of these programmes is pure delusional. The Garda Schools Programme, just to take one example, has significantly reduced in recent years to the point of being practically non-existent in many areas. I would be astonished if the returns for the number of school visits carried out by members of An Garda Siochana in recent years show anything other than a serious reduction when compared with previous years.

Even in the good times, it was a struggle to implement this programme because very few in garda management had any faith in it and when the cutbacks hit the Force, this was one of the first casualties.

The Minister for Justice commented that since the first National Youth Justice Strategy commenced in 2008, the number of children sentenced to detention by the Courts on criminal conviction has consistently dropped. Again, engagement with juveniles has been on the decline since 2008 so that too could have something to do with that drop.

The Youth Diversion Programme is something else that seems to be getting plaudits for reducing the number of young offenders. In plain English, the Diversion Programme provides youngsters who find themselves in trouble with an opportunity to make amends without having to enter into the Criminal Justice System. It allows for young people, under the age of eighteen, who may have done something silly to get a second chance without having the offence recorded against them.

It’s a very positive and practical programme and it is responsible for putting many youngsters on the right path as opposed to the slippery slope of criminality. But it only works as long as the gardai are engaged with it. The down side is that if the gardai are not in the schools and on the street dealing with these kids then the referrals are not going to be made and these young offenders will continue to commit crime until they enter the Criminal Justice System at eighteen years of age and at that stage they are dealt with as adults. And then it’s too late.

Having read some of the ‘Modernisation and Renewal Programme 2016-2021’ as announced by the Garda Commissioner, Noirin O’Sullivan, I find myself once again being a little confused. While I welcome the attempt by the organisation to examine where it is headed in the future, I have a concern that a lot of what the programme contains is nothing more than what we’ve been promised before.

An Garda Siochana has a great opportunity to get its act together and it has a lot of good people who are capable of achieving that. If this isn’t a genuine effort to change then we will be here in another ten years rehashing this argument with the launch of yet another programme for renewal to bring us from 2021 to 2026.

Speaking with forked tongue

My first concern arises in the Commissioner’s Foreword where she says, “We are in and of the community. Community policing is key and core to what we do, in routine operations, and in exceptional operations; this year’s St. Patrick’s Day celebrations and more significantly the 1916 Easter Rising Commemorations were hugely successful and passed off without incident. The central ethos for these successful policing operations was ‘community safety’ and the women and men of An Garda Síochána who policed these events showed fantastic understated professionalism.’

She is correct when she talks about the performances of the regular men and women of the organisation who put the shoulder to the wheel in difficult times of pay cuts, low morale and lack of resources. They did then, and still do, display total dedication to their duty and they deserve to be supported by an efficient organisation.

Her comments in relation to community policing being at the core of the organisation leave me somewhat confused. If she genuinely believes that then why did she oversee the destruction of that aspect of policing when it was working so well? Why then did she not fight to keep rural garda stations open and to keep those gardai in their towns and villages where they belonged?

Only if we can afford it

She goes on to say, “All of the directions laid out in this document will require significantly greater State funding. To that extent, I must state here that although the programme outlined here is supported by detailed action plans, it is contingent upon increased and sustained State funding.”

My concern here is that if the Government decide to implement more budget restraints at some future point does this mean that the whole programme will come tumbling down once more?

“Every day, members of An Garda Síochána work with the community in every part of the country. Policing in Ireland has been synonymous with being of the people and for the people. An Garda Síochána has traditionally had a close relationship with the community through sport, community groups, schools and a wide array of local activity. However, in the 1970s, 80s and 90s, the emergence of a serious drugs problem, the prevailing security situation, and increasing urbanisation meant more resources going to specialist units and diverted away from community policing.”

I don’t really understand this part of the statement given that community policing wasn’t formally introduced into An Garda Siochana until the late eighties. In any event, there were a number of reasons as to why gardai were diverted from community policing duties. One was a shortage of manpower and community gardai were regularly called upon to perform other duties because of that.

There has to be support

Another reason was due to the fact that there was little buy in to the community policing philosophy by members other than those directly involved in it. This too was identified by the Garda Inspectorate but appears not to have been mentioned here.

The Garda Inspectorate has also pointed out that the introduction of a new roster and constraints on resources saw a reduction in the number of dedicated Community Policing Units, particularly in rural areas. The Inspectorate recommended that the roster for community gardai should be tailored specifically for them. The current roster is simply not suitable.

The Modernisation and Renewal Programme 2016-2021 states, “We will enhance our model of community policing to deliver the style and type of policing that shows our commitment to preventing crime, making communities safer, and addressing the policing challenges of each community.”

“We will establish Community Policing Teams (CPTs) in every District. CPTs will have Gardaí from a number of different disciplines working with the local community to prevent and detect crime.”

“A key focus of our community policing model will be gaining public confidence and trust, listening to the problems of the local community, and demonstrating that An Garda Síochána is committed to a new way of policing focused on the needs of the community to provide a greater sense of security within the community.”

We’ve heard it all before

“We will demonstrate our new policing ethos by engaging with the community through Community Policing Fora to determine their policing requirements. We will hold ourselves publicly accountable to the local community, at their local fora and community meetings, for the level of policing service that we provide in the community.”

This was already in existence but collapsed because the organisation didn’t deem it to be worthy of support. The Garda Inspectorate identified the lack of support for community policing by senior garda management as being a deficiency. Everyone supported the philosophy in public but privately much of this support was non- existent. That has to change.

At this point in the ‘Modernisation and Renewal Programme 2016-2021’ there is a photograph of two gardai standing on a bridge in Cork City. This photograph was previously used to promote the concept of community policing in 2006 when the photo was taken. It doesn’t bode well that the Modernisation and Renewal Programme is using a ten year old photograph to promote change.

 

On the 5^th December 1979 I stood outside the gates of the Garda Training Centre in Templemore with a group of other guys who were also waiting to be admitted. I can still remember the cold as we waited there with our suitcases, a bunch of complete strangers, about to begin our training. The feeling of apprehension is as clear to me now as it was back then and that’s all of thirty seven years ago. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then but it is amazing to think how quickly that time has passed.

That was the same year that Kramer v Kramer was released, Village People had a hit with “YMCA”, Pink Floyd released “The Wall”, Pope John Paul ll visited Ireland, Monty Pythons “Life of Brian” appeared on screen for the first time, Earl Mountbatten was killed by the IRA and Seve Ballesteros won the British Open. A pint of Guinness would have cost you 9 shillings and 4 pence or 47p in todays’ money.

Retirement was a long way off

A lot has happened since then and the years have just rolled by. I was told by an older member during my first year that my time would fly by. He said that the first ten years would pass quickly, the second ten would go by even faster and the last ten years would go by in the blink of an eye. As a youngster of course I didn’t believe him but I have passed those words on to many young gardai since then because it is so true. You really need to enjoy your time because it doesn’t last long.

I can remember being in a friends’ house when I was about twelve years old and as it was coming up to five o’clock in the evening his mother told me that I had to leave. The dad was due home any miniute and they were having a little family party to celebrate his birthday. He was fifty years old. I can remember as I was leaving, he pulled up in his car and as he got out I looked at him and I thought to myself, he’s an old man. I’m now eight years older than he was at that time and I still consider myself to be a young guy. So does that mean that I’m delusional or has something changed?

The good guys are gone

I don’t ever remember spending too much time thinking about retirement. That was so far away from me that it wasn’t worth wasting time even considering it. I was more concerned about building my house so I could set myself up for life. My wife and I were going to be young forever.

Now all of a sudden, I’m retired and we are looking at downsizing the house and preparing for the next stage in life. We complain about the arthritis and promise to spend more time in a warmer and drier climate. We are grandparents and we have bundles of tablets by the bed. We get up in the middle of the night to do what old people do and then we have trouble straightening up in the morning. We compare pains and aches. So how did all this sneak up on me?

A lot of good people have fallen by the wayside over the years from illness or accident and it makes me wonder why we are spending so much time in turmoil and conflict when life is so short?

It’s a complicated issue

A photograph appeared in the Sunday paper recently and the image continues to bother me. It showed four kids hiding under a truck somewhere on the Syrian / Turkish border. One child was looking straight at the camera and he can’t have been more than five years of age. He’s squatting down with his hands in his pockets and he has the face of someone older who has seen too much. It’s like a look of acceptance but he is just a toddler.

There was another photo of a little boy in the back of an ambulance with blood on his face. He looked to be in total shock and was covered in dust as a result of an explosion. He wiped some of the blood off his face with his hand and then looked at it not knowing what to do next. This is wrong on every level and life is way too short for this.

It’s a complete mess

I find it difficult to get my head around the rights and wrongs of what is essentially a very confusing and complicated civil war in Syria. It seems that Russian and Syrian government forces are fighting to take the city of Aleppo back from the rebels and the fighting there has caused thousands to make their way to the Turkish border to seek refuge. The UN does what the UN does best and makes strong protests. It has expressed concern that access and supply routes are now cut off. It has asked Turkey to open the border and has called on other countries to help Turkey with aid. German Chancellor Angela Merkel accused Russia of bombing civilians and Russia said it didn’t.

It is a complete mess but in the meantime, you have God knows how many children living in fear and confusion when they should be at home playing with their toys and their friends. They should be laughing and having fun without a care in the world. They should be in the comfort of their own homes surrounded by their families and not out in the elements hiding under trucks like frightened rabbits.

They should be looking forward to their future and all the things that they will do before they wake up some morning suddenly find that they are in their fifties.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confusion reigns

I’m a little confused. I know that there are many of you who won’t be surprised to hear that but this is different. I’m trying my best to get my head round this gender neutral business but I’m struggling. Normally on issues like this I tend to say, live and let live and then I turn my mind to other matters.

I have sympathy for any minority group who feels excluded or disadvantaged and usually I would champion their cause and support them albeit from the comfort of my recliner. But there comes a time when you have to question whether the majority should always be moved to change to accommodate the few.

If the cap fits

For example, I can recall a time when the Irish Sikh Council called for Sikhs to be allowed to wear turbans instead of caps when they join the An Garda Siochana. This call was following a case where a Sikh who volunteered to join the Garda Reserve was refused permission to wear his turban as part of his uniform.  The Garda Síochána rejected the call for any variation in the standard uniform.

The Irish Sikh Council claimed that Sikhs do not cut their hair for religious reasons and they are obliged to cover it with a turban and asking a Sikh community member to get rid of his turban “is like asking him to remove his head”. Well, An Garda Siochana too has a dress code and it requires its members to wear a cap not a turban. This is one of the requirements for membership of this particular organisation and if that doesn’t fit in with your personal beliefs or religious requirements then that’s too bad. You’ll just have to try an alternative organisation.

Our old friend from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster would probably want to wear a colander on his head if he decided to become a policeman in Ireland and that would not be acceptable either.

How complicated is going for a pee?

I imagine that most people don’t put too much thought into what toilet they use. Unless they need a disabled facility, they either head for the men’s or women’s loos. They are usually easy enough to find and they are normally identified by signs like Men/Women or Fir/Mna or by male and female symbols. But apparently there is a growing number who don’t have such an easy decision to make, such as transgender and non-binary people, when they want to spend a penny.

So what exactly is a non-binary person? Those with non-binary genders can feel that they have an androgynous (both masculine and feminine) gender identity, such as androgyne. Have an identity between male and female, such as intergender. Have a neutral or non-existant gender identity, such as agender or neutrois. That’s the official definition and my understanding of it is that these people can be caught between two stools when they try to figure out whether they or male or female.

To pee or not to pee

To give an example, one guy told of the difficulties he faced when he changed from a female to a male and he said it was always a struggle to decide what toiled to use. While he was in the process of transitioning, he dressed and looked like a man but he wasn’t able to use a urinal. So he had to use a cubicle and if one wasn’t available he would have to wait. He felt awkward and felt that people were looking at him and he thought that this was unfair so he now wants gender neutral toilets to be available as well.

Now, you can call me old fashioned, but I don’t get this and I suspect he is being a bit super- sensitive or maybe even a little paranoid. If I use a public toilet in an airport or a pub and I want to use a cubicle then I wait until one becomes available. I don’t feel the eyes of the world on me while I’m standing there so why should he. If you want to use a cubicle and one isn’t immediately available then you have to wait for one. Surely there could be occasions when cubicles wouldn’t be available in a gender neutral loo either.

Making a case for extra loos

Another guy told a story of how he had been turned away from the women’s toilets only to be insulted in the men’s toilets. He said he would plan the entire day around it and sometimes he didn’t go to the bathroom all day and ended up with bladder infections from holding it in. This is why the trans gender community has been calling for more gender neutral toilets.

Now come on, if you want to make a serious case for these toilets you have to do better than that. I can’t imagine any situation where I would compromise my health for the want of a pee especially if I was to spend the day planning for it.

Some are suggesting that there should be four types of toilet to accommodate men, women, disabled and gender neutral and some believe there should just be gender neutral toilets for everyone. But using mixed bathrooms might be difficult for some people of certain faiths. It has also been suggested that there will be many trans people who will object to having to use a toilet for trans people as opposed to one of their required gender. This is giving me a headache.

Who can pee where?

In Florida, the ‘Bathroom Surveillance Bill’ would ban transgender people from using bathrooms and locker rooms except those designated for their gender at birth. Transgender advocates have attacked the laws as discriminatory and accused legislators in some states of “attacking the dignity and humanity of transgender and gender non-conforming people.

Who would have thought that taking a pee would be so complicated?