Driving in Ireland is risky, but there are worse places.

Driving in Ireland is bad enough but driving a car in Cyprus is definitely not for the faint hearted. It is a challenge to say the least and if you ever decide to go there, prepare to go to war or stick to public transport.

You need nerves of steel to survive and it starts when you turn on the engine. It’s like having a price on your head and waiting for the next attempt on your life.

I love Cyprus and I love the people, which is why I spend so much time there, but they can’t drive. It’s like being in the dodgems or the bumpers. I reckon they must be using a different set of the rules of the road to everyone else.

They don’t use indicators, they ignore stop signs, traffic lights and pedestrian crossings and you can be guaranteed that they will pull out in front of you regardless of who has the right of way.

They park where they like with scant regard for any danger or any inconvenience that may be caused. They have no problem parking on a corner and if they can’t fit the whole car into a parking space, they’ll get as much of it in as they can and then abandon it even though the rest of the car might be sticking out and blocking half the street.

They drive fast, and they don’t mind tail gating. They all use mobile phones and no matter what courtesy you show them they won’t acknowledge it. At the very best, you might get a slight nod of the head but that’s as close to a ‘thank you’ as you’re going to get.

They also love their high-powered motor bikes, preferably with noisy engines. They drive them at ridiculous speeds, especially on the motorway, and they don’t always wear helmets or protective clothing. It’s not unusual to catch a brief glimpse of one passing you at the speed of sound, dressed only in shorts and a t-shirt with the hair blowing in the wind.

They like doing wheelies too and it’s very common to see them going up and down the streets on the rear wheel only.

I was involved in a slight accident on the main street in Paralimni a few years ago when an elderly guy ignored a stop sign and pulled out in front of me. It was only a slight tip, but I was driving a rented car, so I called the police. They arrived very quickly and began taking details when suddenly, this large motor bike passed us with the front wheel in the air.

He went to the bottom of the street, turned around and came back again and as he passed us for the second time, he put the bike on the back wheel again and roared past. I was waiting for a reaction from the policemen but there was none, so I asked one of them if it bothered him. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, “What I can do?”

When I was a policeman, I wouldn’t have been asking “What I can do?”

Over there, when you’re involved in a traffic accident, you must phone the police and then contact your insurance company. I did as I was instructed but I wasn’t expecting much from the insurance company, so I was surprised when a representative turned up shortly after the police. This is what they do.

They carry out their own investigation and determine there and then, who is right or wrong. In my case, the other guy was responsible for the damage and I was told to take the car to the garage and everything was sorted. I never heard from that insurance guy again and I didn’t even have to fill out a form. It was unbelievably efficient and something we could look at here.

You may be wondering why I keep going back to that hazardous environment and risking my life Well, the answer is straight forward. I’ve learned to live with it, and I don’t let it bother me anymore because there’s actually something refreshing about it.

These people have a very relaxed attitude to life. They go with the flow and they aren’t big on formalities and regulations. They do what they like, and they expect you to do the same. They don’t complain about the small stuff. They are very tolerant people and it’s hard to get annoyed with them, so I don’t anymore, I just accept it.

I was driving through some narrow streets in a village called Oriklini and I was concentrating on trying to find an address when I suddenly found myself driving the wrong way down a narrow one-way system. Every car I met coming towards me just pulled in to let me pass and not one of them blew the horn or abused me. There was no drama because it didn’t bother them.

They’re laid back and they don’t beat you to death with rules and regulations so you can get on with life whatever way you like. Health and safety hasn’t invaded Cyprus yet either.

There was a large hole in the ground outside a pub after the local authority did some work there and it was left unattended for weeks. It wasn’t a pothole; it was more like a grave and there was no protection around it. Nothing to advise people that it even existed. It was dangerous, particularly at night but people just avoided it and as far as I know, nobody fell into it.

Political correctness isn’t strangling the island either and conversation flows freely without fear of causing offence which is great because these people aren’t in any way offensive.

It reminds me of what Ireland was like a long time ago.