In Ireland we only started naming our storms recently but already we’ve had Abigail, Desmond, Eva, Frank, Gertrude, Imogen and the most recent one was Jake, I think. I’m probably missing a few but at this rate it looks as if we’re going to need a longer alphabet. We also have a colour coded tag for the severity of the wind, yellow, orange and red just in case it feels left out.
Whatever about the name or the colour, they all have one thing in common. They upset us and we don’t like that. Strong winds, heavy rain, flooding, fallen trees and wires, loss of electricity and pot holes. They cause inconvenience to our travel plans with flights being delayed or cancelled and disruption to ferries and trains and it is all very irritating.
And after every storm we get a crop of fresh pot holes, nice big ones that could eat your wheel or sometimes your entire car. We complain long and hard about these and eventually, after a few years, the council workers come along with their trucks and their shovels. They fill the craters with tar and beat the piles into submission with the back of the shovel. If necessary they drive over the humps of tar to make them nice and neat and all is well again.
That is until the next storm comes and washes all the tar out of the holes and we find ourselves back at square one.
There is so much rain falling here that we are all in danger of drowning. If countries could shrink, Ireland we would be no bigger than Blackpool Shopping Centre at this stage. We can’t drain the land because we’re a tiny little island sitting on a large body of water. We can only divert water and move the problem from one area to the next. It’s kind of like playing pass the parcel with water.
Then when the land is so wet that it can’t possibly take any more water, we open the dams to relieve the pressure and we wet it some more. When we have submerged another few villages we toddle off to the insurance companies to get some money to fix the damage but they won’t cover it because we’re prone to flooding. So it’s a vicious circle and Mother Nature is in charge.
The US Department of State is used to this kind of weather and it does offer advice for its citizens who are thinking of travelling to storm-prone regions. “Those who choose to travel should devise an emergency plan in advance of their departure. Even inland areas far from the coastline can experience destructive winds, tornadoes, mudslides, and floods from tropical storms”.
While, hopefully, we won’t reach those levels of destruction here, maybe it’s time the State Department added Ireland to its list of dangerous destinations. They would also need to add a little paragraph about potholes for the information of those travellers thinking of hiring a car when they arrive.
They would have to include a survival manual for those unfortunate enough to encounter one and they could recommend carrying a step ladder and some climbing ropes. They could also have some photographs of the more regular potholes that reappear after each storm. Maybe we should even start naming them too.
In America they can say with some certainty that the hurricane season runs from the beginning of June to the end of November. Typhoon season typically runs from April to December, and cyclone season runs from November to April.
We can be less accurate here but we can definitely say that our storms are likely to happen between January first and December thirty first. On the positive side, apart from a few freak cold snaps, snow is scarce.
So, seeing that the weather is so unpredictable, what advice should we give to our visitors then?
According to Discover Ireland,” there’s no such thing as a perfect time to visit Ireland. The summer months are considered high season for visitors and they come for the long sunny evenings, parks in full bloom and eating al fresco in cafés. And of course they come for the summer festivals”.
“Autumn and spring are mid-seasons for travellers who enjoy kicking bronze-burnished leaves about in autumn, while spring sees nature kick into gear and flowers blossom. As for winter, a walk through a national park on a clear, crisp winter’s day can mean seeing nature at its most impressive”.
Kicking bronze-burnished leaves about in autumn sounds idyllic and creates a lovely image of harmless fun and carefree abandon. But there’s no mention of the fact that this would be likely to get you showered in dog poop.
They also have some advice about what clothing our tourists should bring with them. “You’ll need to be adaptable so go for layers that you can put on or take off as the temperature changes. Bring a sweater, even in summer, waterproofs to accompany all outdoor activities, sunglasses, comfortable walking shoes and an umbrella and when the sun shines in Ireland it’s quite strong, so wear a high factor and bring a sun hat”.
And don’t forget the kitchen sink!
While the general impression is that it rains quite a lot of the time in Ireland, Met Eireann says,” the average number of wet days ranges from about 150 days a year along the east and south east coasts, to about 225 days a year in parts of the west”.
The rest of the time it’s just damp.