It’s no wonder I’m a grouch.

I’m getting older. I know this, not only because of the numbers that appear on my birth certificate, but because I’m getting set in my ways. Some might call it getting cranky or odd and maybe they’re right but I don’t care anymore. One of the privileges of getting older is that you can afford not to worry about what other people think of you.

Now I’m serving notice that from here on I am only going to go to places and events that interest me and I’m only going to be with people that I like. I am no longer going to suffer in silence.

The first thing on my new list of banned activities is the crowed, noisy pub. I like an occasional pint. I like a smaller bar where people know each other and I like to be able to have a conversation. I prefer to go for that drink in the afternoon as opposed to late in the evening and two or three pints is enough for me. That might not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s enough for me.

My worst case scenario is to be in a crowded pub, late in the evening with music blaring and where trying to speak to someone makes you hoarse and gets you covered in spit for your trouble. I despise having to face a scrum every time I want to get a drink. I hate having to run the gauntlet of elbows, shoulders and swinging handbags.

I hate having to barge my way back to my spot and spilling half the drink down my front. I hate being in my little space and having to make myself as small as possible because no matter which way I turn I end up being in somebody’s way and getting battered.

I am no longer going to get stuck in a round. I don’t want to end up having an endurance test with others, drinking more than I want to, drinking faster than I’m normally used to, while at the same time testing the capacity of my bladder to its limits. That’s it, I’ve had enough.

Another tell-tale sign of my disappearing youth is my growing impatience with ignorant drivers. You know the kind. They’re the ones that drive so closely behind you that you can only see their roof rack. The ones that are on the mobile phones and those who drive too quickly in built up areas and everyone that drives without consideration for other people using the same piece of road.

It seems to me that I’m the only one that’s not in a hurry these days. Everyone else seems to be prepared to risk life and limb to get somewhere really important to do something really special when they’re really only going to the shop to buy some toilet rolls.

Litter louts are on my hit list. I drove up to Cork City recently at around 1am to collect some people. As I was passing the turn off for Little Island I saw several discarded cartons of chips and paper cups along the hard shoulder with bits of food scattered all over the road.

Obviously a car load of muppets couldn’t wait until they got to where they were going to dump their rubbish so they just chucked it out the window instead. This is more common than you might think and it is something that is beginning to irritate me more and more as I get older.

Young children running loose in bars are another irritant. I don’t care what time of the day it is, they don’t belong there. If you’re that anxious to have a drink then put your kids into an orphanage or wait until they’re old enough to buy you a pint. I didn’t get to this stage of life after raising a family of my own to have to start taking a part in raising yours in my local pub.

Something else that raises my blood pressure is waiting for the guy who says he will arrive at a certain time to do a job and then he doesn’t show. I have experienced a number of those recently and it baffles me how some of them manage to make any kind of a living if they’re never turning up for work.

Last year I asked a guy to come and look at my windows. He came and had a look and promised to return shortly after. I never saw him again and then I heard that he had gone out of business. About eight weeks ago I asked another guy to come and look at them. He promised me he would call on Thursday and when he didn’t show I contacted him again and he duly arrived on Saturday.

He identified my problem and promised to return on Thursday to put it right. You probably won’t be surprised to hear that I am still waiting for him.

I contacted an engineer about another issue and spent the next few weeks trying to get him to return calls and emails. Eventually he apologised for being out of touch but insisted that he was now back on track and ready for action. He promised he would be back to me within twenty four hours. Surprise, surprise there was no call.

So now you can see why I have decided not to bother what people think of me anymore. I’m going my own way and if you don’t like it then that’s just too bad. If you’ve stayed with me so far I hope you’ve enjoyed the read. If you haven’t, then drop me a line with your complaint and I’ll get back to you. Probably on Thursday.