There’s no escape from mozzies, horse flies and other biting things

I was delighted to read John Dolan’s column in The Echo some time ago in which he described how he had been assaulted by a horse fly while out for his daily walk. He was bitten each time he passed the same location, so much so, he wondered if the same insect was ambushing him.

I didn’t take any pleasure from John’s misery, but it gave me some comfort to learn that I am not alone when it comes to being assaulted by biting things. It’s nice to know there are fellow sufferers out there.

Insects generally give me a hard time, and that includes horse flies. There was a time when they were the bane of my life and when I lived in the countryside, I hated the thought of having to cut the grass. No matter what the weather was like I had to dress like a beekeeper. Long pants, a long-sleeved shirt, a hat and gloves. Anything left exposed after that, got the tiger balm treatment.

Horse flies didn’t like that stuff but neither did I. It was sticky, smelly and difficult to apply but needs must. On a hot summer’s day, it was uncomfortable being wrapped up like someone preparing for a game of ice hockey but even with those precautions, the horse flies didn’t give up. They were always on the prowl.

Anyone familiar with these creatures knows they are persistent little buggers. Swatting them away only encourages them so the only option is extermination, but they don’t make that easy either. Best thing is to let them land and then whack them.

And that’s a pity because I would happily share my blood with them, if they weren’t so aggressive. I have plenty so I’m sure we could have a harmonious relationship if they could drink their fill without leaving itchy lumps on my body.

They’re very selective in choosing their victims too. My neighbour back then, loved gardening. He would often be out there from early morning until late at night with his shirt off. Plenty of skin exposed but he never got a bite. There was a small hedge between us, but the horse flies seemed to prefer my side so, I came to the conclusion it was personal.

It’s a similar story when I go abroad. As soon as I step off the plane, the mosquito community get an alert that I have arrived. They rub their little pincers together at the prospect of a hearty meal. I have tried every lotion and potion known to mankind without success, so I have come to accept mozzie bites as a price to be paid for life in the sun.

Recently though, the stakes were raised when some biting things invaded my home. This was a new and unwelcome departure. I woke up one morning and found lumps on my ankles and arms and every day brought fresh bites. Then my wife started showing lumps and she rarely gets bitten. At one stage I counted fifteen on the back of her neck.

Our first thought was that maybe it was an infestation of bed bugs. I had been spending a lot of time lying in bed following back surgery and we figured that maybe due to prolonged heat on the bed some creatures had invaded our bedding. Apparently, bed bugs leave evidence of their presence but there were no tell-tale signs that we could see.

In any case, we stripped the bed, hoovered the mattress, sprayed it, scoured the bedroom carpet and curtains and washed everything. We opened all the windows and even moved into a spare room for a few days to allow plenty ventilation, but new bites kept appearing. My wife was getting bitten more than I was which was really strange.

The enemy was invisible. You can see horseflies and you can hear mosquitoes and you can often see a tiny speck of blood on a pillow or a sheet following a visit from a mozzie but we could see nothing. It was very frustrating.

We have a small room downstairs that doubles as a cloak room and an office and because the weather had been so bad for a few weeks previously, we couldn’t get the washing out on the line, so we put two clothes horses in there.

The radiator was on, and the window was closed so between the dampness, the heat and the lack of ventilation, I thought that maybe we had created our own version of a rain forest. A nice tropical setting for insects to thrive in. At times I expected David Attenborough to pop out from behind the towels.

As part of my recovery, I was taking short regular walks in an area that was surrounded with trees and foliage and I reckoned I must have picked up something on my clothing and introduced the creature or creatures to their new environment.

This theory made sense especially as my son was never in there and he was bite free, so it all added up. That room was next to get the full treatment. We removed everything, opened the window, scrubbed and sprayed the place and the problem was solved; except it wasn’t.

My wife continued to be targeted so we narrowed it down to the sitting room. I was restricted to sitting on a hard chair, so I spent less time in there than she did. She would relax there watching the TV in the evening and, in the morning, fresh bites would appear, so we turned our attention to that room.

We briefly considered throwing out the couch, but sterilised every inch of the room instead, and the biting finally stopped. We never did find the culprits but on the positive side, the house is spotless now.