Phobias, fears and cute hoors….

I had a dream not so long ago that I was in a submarine. I have no idea what I was doing there but I remember the feeling of curiosity as I wandered around exploring until somebody gave the order for the thing to go under the water. At that stage someone closed the lid on the submarine. There’s probably a technical term for that but to me they just closed the lid and the sub started to dive.

At that point I woke up in a puddle of sweat and I was gasping for air. The thought of being in a confined space under the water without being able to pop out for some fresh air, was too much. It’s always been like that for me.

If I’m watching the TV and I happen to see some divers going into underwater caves I have to change the channel. The thought of being trapped in one of those things and running out of oxygen makes my chest tighten.

I would make a very poor hostage. I might survive the ordeal provided my captors didn’t put duct tape over my mouth. The thought of being only able to breathe through my nose would probably be enough to ensure that my heart would explode and make me a useless asset to any kidnapper.

I can remember as a child watching Tim Hayes trying to beat the world record for remaining alive in a coffin while buried underground. Tim was a local character in Cobh who wanted to beat the world record of 100 hours for being buried alive. On Christmas Day in 1966 he was ‘laid to rest’ and a length of plastic pipe extending vertically from the coffin to the outside world provided his air supply and he remained there for ten days.

He read books by torchlight while a crew remained on stand-by to dig him up if anything went wrong. My father was part of that crew so I got to see things up close and personal. They had a caravan next to the ‘grave’ which served as a command post. The event became a huge attraction and it wasn’t long before the caravan became a media centre.

How anyone could allow themselves to be put into a small box and buried under a pile of earth is beyond me. Why anyone would even want to just beggars belief. There is no prize on this planet big enough to entice me to even consider it.

So maybe I’m a little claustrophobic and if that’s the biggest cross I have to bear in life then I can live with that. There are worse things to deal with and many people live very difficult lives from having to deal with phobias. A phobia is described as an extreme or irrational fear or dread aroused by a particular object or circumstance, to the point where it severely restricts your life.

For some people phobias can seriously interfere with their lives and the lives of those around them. In extreme cases they may be forced to give up work or they might have to stay indoors to avoid meeting people. Isaac Marks has written a self-help book on the subject titled,’ Living with Fear’.

Phobias can be specific – such as the fear of spiders, heights or dentists – or more generalised, such as the fear of open spaces, a fear of interacting with other people (social phobia) or even the dread of developing a phobia (phobophobia).

A phobia is a real fear, not the brief anxiety someone may feel before taking a test or giving a speech, but is a deep dread of a situation that poses little real danger, often causing someone to also suffer physical and psychological reactions, including heart palpitations and rashes.

Arachnophobia, fear of spiders, is a very common phobia and the fear of snakes is another one while the fear of heights can lead to anxiety attacks and avoidance of high places. People who suffer from this phobia may go to great lengths to avoid places such as bridges, towers, or tall buildings.

I have come across a few more phobias in my time but I’m not sure if there is a specific name for them. I have met many guys who were afraid of work. As soon as something needed to be done, they would break out in a sweat and simply disappear. As soon as that threat was over, they would reappear and their heart rate would be back to normal.

I have met guys who had a severe phobia about parting with money. The fear was so great for some of them that they were almost prepared to starve to death rather than take out their wallet. Going for a pint always presented a major challenge for these guys and they often had to rush to the toilet when it came to their turn to buy a drink.

Another very common phobia is the fear of making a decision. It generally affects those who suffer from incompetence but who nevertheless have reached senior positions on the corporate ladder by using some means other than ability.

These guys can really suffer at times of crisis and on these occasions they can be extremely difficult to find. When they are eventually found they will often be babbling incoherently and sweating profusely and they will usually be of no use to anyone.

A side effect of this phobia is that as soon as the crisis is over, the sufferers often develop an over-inflated opinion of their own ability and they will often congratulate themselves for handling the situation so well and for saving the day. They will also suffer from an uncontrollable urge to tell their boss how well they performed.