Sometimes it’s good not to have a sense of smell

Some time ago, maybe seven or eight weeks, I’m not sure exactly, I developed what I would call a ‘flu’. Doctors will tell you that we rarely get the ‘flu’ here but we do get heavy colds and the occasional virus but they consider the ‘flu’ to be a different animal altogether. But whatever it was that I had, it involved lots of shivering, sweating, coughing and a blocked nose. This stuffed nose business was a little different from what I was used to because I seemed to be blocked up at the back of my nose for a long time and it took a few weeks before I was able to breathe properly again.

Soon after that, it seemed to me that everything that I ate tasted bland and I couldn’t get a flavour from anything. When I was cooking I had to ask someone else to taste the food for me to see if it was ok and it slowly dawned on me that I had lost my sense of taste and my sense of smell. My sense of smell is gone completely and I suspect that about 95% of my ability to taste is gone. I think I can taste the odd thing but then I’m not sure if I’m actually tasting it or whether my brain is just telling me what it tastes like from memory. In any event, at the moment, they’re both pretty much redundant.

So I did what every self- respecting sick person does when they have an ailment, I contacted Doctor Google and typed in my symptoms. While doing this, I’m pretty sure that I have some rare form of cancer that only affects one in every forty million people but I just happen to be that person. Or else my brain has become loose and this is likely to result in my imminent departure to the afterlife. It’s bound to be serious.

One website advised me that I could be suffering from Anosmia which is a medical term for the loss of the sense of smell. And this could be caused by certain medication, recreational drug use such as cocaine or amphetamines, diabetes, long-term alcohol misuse, an underactive thyroid, a head injury, a brain tumour, epilepsy, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, liver or kidney disease or schizophrenia. That about covers everything but in around 20% of cases, the cause can’t be found. So I was no wiser after this.

Then I checked out another website and, to my surprise, I came across an explanation that turned out to be a little less dramatic and a bit more comforting than the previous one. One of the first things that jumped out at me was the fact that it is quite common for some people to lose their sense of smell and taste after a virus or a dose of the ‘flu’.

One woman gave an account of her experience and how it started with a bad head cold three years ago. Her sense of smell and taste deserted her. For the first few days she accepted it and put it down to the blocked nose. When it dragged on for a fortnight, long after her cold had disappeared, she sought help. When the nasal sprays and antibiotics didn’t work, her specialist confirmed what she already feared, that it was an upper respiratory infection that had attacked her olfactory nerves. Food tasted like cardboard and roses could have been artificial. She could still determine bitter, sweet, salt and sour, but they were empty without the accompanying flavours and scents. It became a near obsession and she used to cry when she could smell nothing.

Then, a few months ago, she went for a run and afterwards when she got in the car to go home she caught a smell of something instantly recognisable. It was dog poo. She checked her trainers and, sure enough, she had stepped in some. Instead of feeling disgusted like most people would, she had a rush of joy because she was able to smell it. She didn’t clean it off for days and would return to the trainer regularly to check that she could still smell it. Her sense of smell and taste is now 75% recovered and hopefully she can now smell things other than dog poo.

Now, I’m not sure if this is a permanent condition with me or not, I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see. If it is then I would like to thank those senses for the service that they have given me up to now. It is appreciated and I harbour no hard feelings and I only wish them all the best. If they do come back then I won’t have to step in dog poo to realise it because I have another detector that is every bit as effective.

My grandson, Cooper, has an ability to fill a nappy that, at times, could be used as a weapon of offence. There are occasions when these things could be classified as hazardous material. They can bring tears to your eyes faster than any onion. Cooper spends a lot of time sitting on my lap watching Fireman Sam and the only way I know that he has made a deposit in his nappy is when I see the family gathering around me with breathing apparatus and industrial gloves. I only hope and pray, at those times, that it’s Cooper that has the issue and not me and thankfully it would appear that I have not reached that stage yet.

Hopefully these senses will return at some point but if they don’t well then, we’ll just have to get on with it. It might suit me though if it doesn’t happen until Cooper is out of nappies.